when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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