Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
