it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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