Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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