i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize