She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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