It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
