Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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