we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
