Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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