I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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