First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
