is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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