Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
