The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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