I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
