But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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