The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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