So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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