It's Friday. Sex?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
