If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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