it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
