This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
