im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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