yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You ruined the universe
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
