and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
