Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
