If i come over, it means nothing
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize