Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
MIDGETS
????
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize