It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
