you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize