stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
