garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
