Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
