I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
