i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
