I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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