Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
