That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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