Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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