just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wear drunk well.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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