i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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