Ambien. No doubt about it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
