i just wanna soil my oats bro
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's never too late to be topless.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
