evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
