8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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