if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
