I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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