do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
