I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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