I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize