Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Your cock deserves a montage
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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