yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
