Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The best revenge is premature balding
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
