is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
