turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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