Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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