Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
