At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
barbara walters just said penis...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
